“A woman convinced against her will is of the same opinion still” ~American proverb
I like debate. My wife says she married me because I am a man of conviction, a crusader. In my many years of crusading, debating, public dialogue, and internet commbox combat, I have realized one thing. People will not change and cannot change until they are ready to change.
It takes no particular political party, no specific religion, no ideology. The demon of change-now-because-I-said-so rears its ugly head in all cultures and societies.
In the particular groups I run with, there are two specific figures (I won’t name names) who pride themselves as being THE truth tellers in their respective fields. One talks about religion, the other about politics. Often times, when I engage in conversation and my co-conversationalist is a follower of one or both of these men, a particular formula is always followed. This isn’t planned, but it always happens.
Other person: “I was listening to so-and-so today, and he said that “B” is the principle you need to hold or you’re not an “B-tarian”.
Me: “That’s interesting. It sounds like a good idea, but there’s no way to make the jump from A to B directly. Nobody will listen to you.”
OP often responds with something like, “But we have to because it’s the truth. So-and-so said so, and if you don’t see it the way I do, then you’re either with us or against us.”
Each time a person hears a piece of information, the prudent next step is to weigh that information with what they already know. The truth is planted like a seed, and certain seeds grow during the spring, some in the summer, winter, or autumn. Some seeds have an incubation time which don’t grow as soon as they are planted, and some require several years worth of freeze time in order to “activate” their growing ability. In addition to the condition of the seed, one must consider the planting medium (soil, for the lay person). Fertile ground, or hardened paths? Seeds don’t grow simply because they are planted. Would a seed grow if it fell on your carpet? Probably not. Even if a seed is planted in fertile soil, it won’t grow instantly simply because you demand it.
Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that the position you hold is the truth. At what point in life did you learn that particular truth? How many years of tilling the soil took place before your mind became fertile enough for the seed to grow? Why should you expect anything less of anyone else?
Plato’s Allegory of the Cave describes the process quite well. The summary is that a group of people were chained to chairs in a cave, and their entire reality were based entirely on shadows on the wall. One prisoner is released and allowed to exit the cave, discovering an entire world on the surface, however it took a while for the released man to discern what existed outside the cave, as it took time for his eyes to adjust to the light, and his mind and body to acclimate to life outside. If the man returned to the cave to share his experience with the other prisoners, they would think him foolish or mad because they have no concept of anything outside the cave. Upon his relentless appeal to change their minds and force them to deny their present reality, they surely would kill him (according to Plato’s Allegory).
The same is true in current debate. When presenting someone with truth to which they have not been exposed, one must be patient, charitable, and humble, or one would be thought a fanatic or insane, thus turning off others to the truth. Further insistence could cause a rupture of friendship, hard feelings, or even hatred.
Many times, those who follow claim the truth scatter it among infertile ground, or are not patient for the seed to take root. One of the greatest killers in home gardens is overwatering. The gardener is impatient and tries to force the plant to grow, or worries that the plant hasn’t received enough water, and ends up drowning the plant. It is wise, when in conversation, to be the patient gardener, to plant your seeds on fertile ground and wait patiently for them to take root.
- “Hear this! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed fell on rocky ground where it had little soil. It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep. And when the sun rose, it was scorched and it withered for lack of roots. Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it and it produced no grain. And some seed fell on rich soil and produced fruit. It came up and grew and yielded thirty, sixty, and a hundredfold.” He added, “Whoever has ears to hear ought to hear.” ~Mark 4:3-10